Tigers And Motorcycles
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
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Current mood: There’s something about the combination of tigers and motorcycles that always makes me laugh. I usually get up around 5:00AM and there’s this commercial that’s on almost everyday at that time for something called the Law Tigers. The Law Tigers are appearantly “lawyes who ride” motorcycles. The commercial itself isn’t particularly funny but it makes me laugh everytime I see it and I see it probably almost every day. There is a really great CG Tiger in the commercial that watches over the bikers driving on the path below. As usual, i’m probably taking this too literally, but if I got in a motorcycle accident I sure as fuck wouldn’t want a tiger near me. I’d probably be all bloody and stuff and the tiger would eat me. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t want a lawyer near me either. They usually just want to ask you a bunch of questions and when I’m bleeding in the street I usually don’t feel like answering a bunch of god damn questions. I’d want an ambulance or a field medic like in the WWII movies. Come to think of it, we should still have field medics. Not just in war but also randomly walking through the streets. If you ever got hurt you could just lay there and yell “Medic!” and a friendly dude would run up to you and give you some morphine. I would be great! You wouldn’t feel obligated to help old people when they fell down anymore. You could just laugh at them like God intended you to. The field medic would help them out. Of course if we did still have field medics, people would probably abuse their field medic privledges. They’d be all yelling for medics if they couldn’t find the broccoli at the grocery store or yelling for medic if they were on the can and were out of toilet paper. Some people would probably even fake injuries just so they could get the morphine. Anyway, back to the tigers. In college we had this video that we liked to play. It was a video about these dudes called the “Star Boys.” The “Star Boys” were these assholes that rode bikes around the highways of Ohio and did really dumb things like stand up on the seat or hang off the back of their motorcycles at really fast speeds. They were really into tigers too. All thier bikes had animal print on them and they all liked to wear really fuzzy pants. We used to watch that video all the time. Not because it was good or even interesting. The production quality was bad and personally, i though the content was boderline retarded. However, whenever the StarBoys video was recommended, I was usually right there to second the motion. The part that we liked the most was when one of those jackass StarBoys was riding a motorcycle down the street and an image of a tiger faded up only for about a second. Hilarious. Man, we used to laugh at that thing for hours.
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pleased
