Remembering Zsa Zsa Gabor
October 3, 2007 - Wednesday
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Current mood: JOhn Cougar Mellancampish I fuckin miss Zsa Zsa Gabor. I always found her very entertaining. I guess she’s still alive but is like all bed ridden and shit. Poor Zsa Zsa. Hey, remember that time when she slapped that police officer? Man, that was awesome. Zsa Zsa Gabor doesn’t take shit from anybody. I bet she like slaps her doctors around when they are trying to make her take her medicine and stuff. That’s my Zsa Zsa. A real firecracker. A lot of people think she was the chick on Green Acres. I got news for you suckas. I know my Zsa Zsa better than that. It was actually her twin siter Eva who starred in Green Acres. Eva wasn’t as cool as Zsa Zsa. Hey, remember the time Zsa Zsa Gabor was in that movie, Frankenstein’s Great Aunt Tillie? I do. Man, she was great in that movie. So fabulous. So dignified. Definately in my top 10. I’ve been following Zsa Zsa Gabor’s life for quite some time now. I guess you could say I’m a big Zsa Zsa Gabor fan. But who isn’t, right? I mean, I can’t think ofganybody who dislikes Zsa Zsa Gabor. What reason would they have? Hey, remember the time Zsa Zsa Gabor ate that entire thing full of Baby Ruth minis? Man, that was awesome. She sure loves Baby Ruth minis. Zsa Zsa has a real sweet tooth…for Baby Ruth minis. I’ve got a sweet tooth for her. What about the time Zsa Zsa Gabor saved the earth from that meteor? Remember that? She all like blasted off into outer space in her rocket ship and drilled into the meteor with her oil rig team. Man that was awesome. I was all sad when Ben Affleck was like “I love you, Zsa Zsa!” He should have been the one who stayed on that rock to die. Or what about the time when Zsa Zsa Gabor revealed to the world that she could spray liquid gold out of her own asshole? Remember that?! The world markets were saved! Everyone finally had enough gold with Zsa Zsa shitting it out by the bucketloads. I got me a Rolex that day. I’m sure you remember the time Zsa Zsa Gabor was framed for killing R.K Maroon but flat-footed detective, Eddie Valiant, proved her innocence seconds before she was to be sprayed with “dip” and erased forever. That was a close one. Come to think of it, that was the same day Toontown was saved. Oh, Zsa Zsa. You’ve done so much for us and I don’t feel there is enough I can do to repay my great debt to you.
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I didn’t read this one, but I noticed you watched Hard Target recently. Best Hard Target quote:
“How does it feel to be hunted?!”
“You tell me!”
(Spin kick!)
If you ever do get the chance to read this blog, don’t.
A) It sucks.
B) It’s stupid.
Jean-Claude giggles when I lick that part between his nuts and his butt. I can’t believe I just told you that! I’m so naughty when I’ve had a glass of wine;)
I love Jean… even though I wonder sometimes if he loves me. I mean, he SAYS he loves me, like, after I make him say it, lol. He’s selfish, I know, it’s just his nature. It’s probably not fair.
Sometimes, though, I don’t think he’s as invested in our relationship as I am. But maybe that’s why we’re together: because I give and he takes. It’s just not fair that I’m the one always compromising. I mean, is it really that hard to sit through one dog show without gabbing on a cell phone in the bathroom the whole time?
God, if I stay with him I am never gonna be able to quit therapy?
Sorry, sorry. I know we just met, but I feel like I can tell you anything.
Talked to my Mom today and everything she said was all “Brant from Southside Luthren this” and “Brant from Southside Luthren that.”
“How great is it that Brant drives an Audi?” “How handsome does Brant look today?”
So I says to her, “Why don’t you marry him?” …. No, I didn’t say that. But I wanted to!
Why can’t she see that it’s my life!?! I know what she’d say. She’d say she loves me too much to let me screw it up with a son-of-a-bitch like Jean-Claude. Ugh, just leave me alone!!!
Truthfully, I’m just soo tired of crying.