Mosquitos Prime Minister
September 5, 2007 - Wednesday
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Current mood: Tacolicious I request a meeting with the Prime Minister of Mosquitos. Those little mothers bit the hell out of my ankles this weekend and now I’m pissed. Why would those little jerks do that? I don’t drink their blood. How come they think it’s cool to drink mine? Tell you what Prime Minister of Mosquitos, it’s not cool. I want my blood back. You see I need my blood. It’s sort of what keeps me alive. I need it so oxygen can get to different parts of my body. If you buttheads keep taking all my blood my body parts will stop working and that’s not good. Over the years i’ve grown accustomed to all parts functioning smoothly. I’m not ready to sacrifice my body parts for your race to survive. I’m sorry. I know you don’t think you’re drinking a lot of blood but you fuckers had to have bitten me at least 100 times. It’s like the whole homeless people thing. I can’t give change to every homeless person I run into. If I did, I would be homeless and much like i enjoy having all my blood, I enjoy having a place to live. I don’t know. I think I’m proposing a valid argument but that’s just me. You know what else? You little bastards spread malaria and West nile virus. Thank you, but I’d rather not contract either of those diseases. Do you guys think people like having malaria? Well i got news for you. We don’t. Malaria sucks. Cut it out. You know what mosquitos? What do you guys even do? Huh? Why are you here? Do you actually serve a purpose in the ecosystem or are you guys just here to steal my blood and piss me off? Man you guys are jerks. Other animals never try to take my blood away from me. Maybe you should take a few leesons from them. Like monkeys. I never met a monkey that wanted to drink my blood. I’m going to set up a meeting between you and the President of Monkeys and we’ll see if we can’t work something out. Monkeys eat bananas. Have you guys ever tried a banana? Fruit flies like bananas. Maybe you would too. I don’t really like bananas myself but it’s gotta be better than blood. There’s another thing I don’t get. What’s with drinking blood? That’s sort of nasty. I eat meat and stuff but i don’t drink blood. Blood is N-A-S-T-Y. You mosquitos have it all wrong. I suggested bananas earlier but maybe you would like tacos instead. I really like tacos. If I could choose to eat anything in the world, tacos would be near if not at the top of the list. I suggest you guys give tacos a try and stop drinking my blood. I think I’ve stated my case. I’m not happy about you guys taking my blood and making me all itchy. It’s quite uncomfortable for me. But I think we can reach an alernative for you that will make everybody happy. I’ve made some suggestions and maybe you have some counter-offers. Please let me know. I am open to more dialogue about the subject. You can reach me here. i hope we can come to a reasonable agreement soon. However if i see one of you little fuckers biting me while i am waitng for your response, I will kill you.
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