Matt Kelley is Great.com

Current mood: hungry

Oh, I am.  You better believe it.  You don’t believe me?  Well, I’ll show you.  I’m gonna get fat as fuck.  You just watch.  Know what I’m thinking about right now?  A sandwich.  Thats right.  I was thinking about a sandwich.  A sandwich with like 6 different types of meat, assorted cheeses, mayo, and hardboiled eggs.  Thats right.  Whole hardboiled eggs.  You’re probably thinking what kind of weirdo puts hardboiled eggs on a sandwich?  I’ll tell you.  A fatso weirdo.  That’s me.  I’m gonna be a fatso weirdo.  Fat as fuck with a whole salmon on my sandwich.  Yeah.  That’s right.  There’s a salmon on there too.  I can do whatever I want with my imaginary sandwich that’s gonna make me fat.  You can’t stop me.  You can’t stop me from getting fat.  Nobody can stop it.  It’s my destiny.  Oh, you can try to stop it, but I’ll just get fatter.  I will.  You know what’s on my sandwich now?  Huh?  Do you?  Chicken wings.  A dozen of them.  Yeah.  They got hot sauce on em.  And blue cheese.  Remember the hardboiled eggs and the salmon?  They’re still there.  They didn’t go anywhere.  I’m getting fat.  Fat as fuck.        

Currently watching : The Trials of Henry Kissinger Release date: By 19 August, 2003