I’ll Punch A Bear In The Nose
Stankenstein501: You know what is really great on a pizza?
Stankenstein501: Strawberry Jelly
ImSuperAwesom: are you pregnant?
Stankenstein501: a little
ImSuperAwesom: eh, that’ll do it
Stankenstein501: Are you?
ImSuperAwesom: nope
Stankenstein501: awesome!
Stankenstein501: High five!
ImSuperAwesom: uh, i dont give high fives to stangers
Stankenstein501: low five?
ImSuperAwesom: uh, no not those either, not even for a stranger for that matter’
Stankenstein501: eskimo kiss?
ImSuperAwesom: whoa
Stankenstein501: whoa?
ImSuperAwesom: havent you seen that listerine commercial
Stankenstein501: no
Stankenstein501: what am i missing?
ImSuperAwesom: oh, eskimos gettin down
Stankenstein501: that sounds dirty
Stankenstein501: yuck
ImSuperAwesome : no, minty fresh
Stankenstein501: oh, well
Stankenstein501: that’s like the opposite of dirty
ImSuperAwesom: yep
ImSuperAwesom: so….who may i ask is calling?
Stankenstein501: I’m not calling anybody
Stankenstein501: I’m on IM
ImSuperAwesom: oh i see
ImSuperAwesom: …
Stankenstein501: Ok
Stankenstein501: my name is Chang
ImSuperAwesom: like…an asian?
Stankenstein501: in the flesh
ImSuperAwesom: i dont know if i approve of asians
ImSuperAwesom: only if they know kung fu
Stankenstein501: I know ninja
ImSuperAwesom: mikey?
Stankenstein501: Mikey Ninja?
ImSuperAwesom: yes
ImSuperAwesom: hes the only ninja i know
Stankenstein501: I know many ninjas
Stankenstein501: We live in a castle in the sky
ImSuperAwesom: are you a part of the foot?
Stankenstein501: I used to be
Stankenstein501: I found a better ninja company
ImSuperAwesom: oh, yea cuz they get owned by turtles
Stankenstein501: Yeah
Stankenstein501: they are royal pussies
ImSuperAwesom: do you play final fantasy?
Stankenstein501: I have in the past
ImSuperAwesom: i think it was for lesbians
Stankenstein501: Probably
Stankenstein501: that’s usually why they make video games
Stankenstein501: lesbians
ImSuperAwesom: does that make me a lesbian
Stankenstein501: if you played it…yeah
ImSuperAwesom: so…youre a lesbian?
Stankenstein501: no, I didn’t play it
ImSuperAwesom: i didnt play that garbage ass game
Stankenstein501: neither did I
Stankenstein501: so I guess neither one of us are lesbians
ImSuperAwesom: titties are nice though
Stankenstein501: sure
Stankenstein501: titties are great
ImSuperAwesom: but, im sure that conviction doesnt make me a lesbian
Stankenstein501: not necessarily
Stankenstein501: you know what else is cool?
ImSuperAwesom: water snakes are cool
Stankenstein501: yes they are
ImSuperAwesom: so are sidewinders
ImSuperAwesom: they slither sideways
Stankenstein501: bears are cool too
ImSuperAwesom: i’ll punch a bear in the nose
Stankenstein501: yeah right
Stankenstein501: a bear would eat you
ImSuperAwesom: i would eat a bear
Stankenstein501: I’d like to see you try
Stankenstein501: i think I could fight a dog but not a bear
ImSuperAwesom: i only eat bear every 5th saturday of february
Stankenstein501: so…like never
ImSuperAwesom: maybe wherever youre from
Stankenstein501: I am from China
ImSuperAwesom: well, ive never eaten a bear in china
Stankenstein501: where have you eaten a bear?
ImSuperAwesom: thats my secret
Stankenstein501: fine
ImSuperAwesom: are you in china?
Stankenstein501: I’m in my room
Stankenstein501: in China
ImSuperAwesom: in china?
ImSuperAwesom: ah
ImSuperAwesom: i see
Stankenstein501: yes
ImSuperAwesom: write my essay
Stankenstein501: what’s it about?
ImSuperAwesom: bowling for columbine
ImSuperAwesom: the documentary
ImSuperAwesom: i wrote it and it got lost and i dont want to write it again
Stankenstein501: how long does it have to be?
ImSuperAwesom: 2-3 pages
ImSuperAwesom: but doublespaced
Stankenstein501: like an essay about the movie?
Stankenstein501: Hmmm
Stankenstein501: maybe if it was one
Stankenstein501: does it have to be good?
ImSuperAwesom: yes, or i fail English
ImSuperAwesom: and have to pay to retake it
Stankenstein501: uh-oh
Stankenstein501: how can you fail english?
ImSuperAwesom: being absent
Stankenstein501: duuuuuude
Stankenstein501: gotta go to class
ImSuperAwesom: gotta go to the doctor too when stuff goes all bad
ImSuperAwesom: getting seriously ill during school sucks
Stankenstein501: Herpes?
ImSuperAwesom: no
Stankenstein501: Vaginitis?
ImSuperAwesom: no, i could at least get a commercial deal if it was one of those
Stankenstein501: I’ll help you write it
ImSuperAwesom: have you seen the movie?
Stankenstein501: Yeah
ImSuperAwesom: what does a chinese ninja care about gun control in america?
Stankenstein501: We will have more guns and shoot more students than American could ever dream!!!!
Stankenstein501: We are China!!!!!
ImSuperAwesom: you can shoot more students. itll control the population a bit
Stankenstein501: yes
Stankenstein501: and we won’t have to live on the moon
ImSuperAwesom: the chinese would never survive on the moon
Stankenstein501: would too!
ImSuperAwesom: no, a moon bear would eat you
Stankenstein501: I’ll punch a moon bear in the nose
ImSuperAwesom: theyre more intense than an earth dog
Stankenstein501: but the lack of gravity makes them slow
ImSuperAwesom: lack of gravity? what does it care? its a mother fuckin moon bear for cryin out loud
ImSuperAwesom: i wouldnt mess with one
ImSuperAwesom: they wear space helmets
Stankenstein501: you can cowar behind me
ImSuperAwesom: pfft. i’ll be cheering the bear on
Stankenstein501: then you’re next
Stankenstein501: and i won’t help you on your bowling for columbine essay
ImSuperAwesom: aw snap
ImSuperAwesom: i dun fucked up
ImSuperAwesom: ya know, this conversation im having with this chinese ninja stranger, happens to be better than most conversations i have with people i know