If I Die
Friday, April 07, 2006
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Current mood: If I ever die (which I probably never will) I have some requests I’d like to make. Nothing big, just a few little details for the world to remember me by. People come and go everyday and it makes me sad to know that I never got to meet each and every one of them. So if I die, (which I probably won’t anyway so it most likely doesn’t even matter) I would like to do a few things so people could know what kind of guy I was. I want people to know that I cared. First, I would like the people of the world to light a candle. If I could get eveybody in the whole world to light candles together as a species, it would make me so happy. I would look down from high above and know that at that particular time, everybody in the world was working together. Second, I would like poeple to give up all their worldly posessions. We need to realize that it doesn’t matter how much stuff a person has, it’s what people think and feel that really matters in life. I feel like if we all did this, we could start over and forget about all the wars and violence happening in the world. I like to think of it as having a clean slate. You know. Forget the past, look forward to the future. I know this is sort of a lot to ask, but hear me out. I think it’s really for a good cause. Next, I want everyone to shave their heads. If we all look the same, there will be no more discrimination, right? Of course I’m right. Everyone will live on the same paste-based protein diet and drink only enough water to themselves alive. We waste so much in this world and I would be so happy if I could see some conservation. Once everyones will is broken, I would just love to have a giant statue of me erected in the middle of the United States. And when I say giant statue, I mean gigantic. I want my right foot to plant somewhere in the midwest and I want my left foot hovering just above the Statue of Liberty like I’m getting ready to crush it. I never would crush it of course, but I just think it would be a funny image to see. Now, I know not everybody will go for this. Now that I am typing this out, I think it really is a lot to ask. So, when the statue is complete, I want those of you who really helped me out to make my dying wish come true to take those candles from earlier and start huge fires. Use the fires to chase down the others. If they resist, burn them alive. Burn them by the hundreds, the thousands! They won’t be able to stop me! The streets will fill with the blood of the non-believers! I want to smell their rotting flesh as I sit miles above the earth’s atmosphere in my new gigantic metalic body. Oh yeah, did I mention that I want the statue to be a fully functioning robot? Because I do. Yes. That way I can crush all those who stand in my way. If people could do these tiny little things if I die, (which most likely will never happen) that would really make my day.
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contemplative