Matt Kelley is Great.com

ThrillhouseE: Girl, I am taking you out
x ExOtIc BaBi: ha
ThrillhouseE: We are going to go out to eat
x ExOtIc BaBi: ok
ThrillhouseE: then we are going to go to the movies
x ExOtIc BaBi: lol
ThrillhouseE: then i will take you to a corn field
ThrillhouseE: and i will hit a goat in the head with a shovel
x ExOtIc BaBi: sweet
ThrillhouseE: its gonna be romantic as hell
x ExOtIc BaBi: oh i know.
ThrillhouseE: you’ll be all like, “damn.”
x ExOtIc BaBi: mhmm
ThrillhouseE: then I’ll serenade you with a song
ThrillhouseE: wanna hear it?
x ExOtIc BaBi: sure
ThrillhouseE: its more like a rap
x ExOtIc BaBi: lol alright
ThrillhouseE: ready
ThrillhouseE: here goes
ThrillhouseE: im the baddest ass nigga
ThrillhouseE: with a gat in my mit
ThrillhouseE: i shoots all the popos
ThrillhouseE: and then i take a crack hit
ThrillhouseE: my rhymes is tight
ThrillhouseE: and my clothes are money
ThrillhouseE: i fudge all them hoes
ThrillhouseE: then i make my money
ThrillhouseE: Yeeeahhaahhaaaaa
ThrillhouseE: Biotch
x ExOtIc BaBi: lol
ThrillhouseE: what do you think?
x ExOtIc BaBi: perfect
ThrillhouseE: nice
ThrillhouseE: so, im like your new boyfriend right?
x ExOtIc BaBi: for sure.
ThrillhouseE: sweety
ThrillhouseE: i want you home at 7:30
x ExOtIc BaBi: ill be working..
ThrillhouseE: no
ThrillhouseE: you tell them you have to go
ThrillhouseE: i have to eat
ThrillhouseE: i want tacos tonight
x ExOtIc BaBi: i dont like tacos.
ThrillhouseE: baby, i don’t give a fuuuuuuck
x ExOtIc BaBi: hahahaa
ThrillhouseE: i want tacos
x ExOtIc BaBi: .. nope
ThrillhouseE: bitch, you best be makin me some tacos
ThrillhouseE: or i’ll leave you
x ExOtIc BaBi: oh.. thatd be sad
ThrillhouseE: damn straight
x ExOtIc BaBi: no tacos
ThrillhouseE: you only get one chace to get with OG Loc Dog Gangsta Fresh
ThrillhouseE: and OG Loc Dog Gangsta Fresh wants tacos
x ExOtIc BaBi: well OG Loc Dog Gangsta Fresh you aint gettin’ tacos
ThrillhouseE: awwwww
ThrillhouseE: no you didn’t
ThrillhouseE: no you didn’t
ThrillhouseE: you see what I have here in my hand, girl?
x ExOtIc BaBi: nothing?
x ExOtIc BaBi: a shovel??
ThrillhouseE: no, the other hand
ThrillhouseE: it ain’t no muthafuckin taco
ThrillhouseE: its a gun
x ExOtIc BaBi: i bet you dont shoot me.
ThrillhouseE: you wanna try me?
ThrillhouseE: or you wanna make up some fuckin tacos
x ExOtIc BaBi: ill try you:-)
ThrillhouseE: ok
ThrillhouseE: give me your address
x ExOtIc BaBi: if your my boyfriend shouldnt you know where i live?
x ExOtIc BaBi: =-O
ThrillhouseE: damn, girl
ThrillhouseE: i guess you got me
ThrillhouseE: ok
ThrillhouseE: forget the tacos
x ExOtIc BaBi: yeah
ThrillhouseE: you know i love you, girl
x ExOtIc BaBi: awwe
ThrillhouseE: but you gotta understand. . .
ThrillhouseE: I WANT MOTHERFUCKIN PANCAKES FOR DINNER TONIGHT BITCH!!!!!
x ExOtIc BaBi: idk how to make pancakes?
ThrillhouseE: that ain’t my problem
ThrillhouseE: figure it out
ThrillhouseE: call up betty crocker or some shit
x ExOtIc BaBi: nah you just aint gettin pancakes
ThrillhouseE: shiitt
ThrillhouseE: well, what the fuck is a nigga supposed to eat?
x ExOtIc BaBi: nothing? go on a diet
ThrillhouseE: a diet?
x ExOtIc BaBi: yup
ThrillhouseE: i ain’t no jenny Craig up in this shit?
x ExOtIc BaBi: lol ?
ThrillhouseE: i needs to eat
ThrillhouseE: meat
ThrillhouseE: i wants me a steak
x ExOtIc BaBi: i really dont care.
ThrillhouseE: girl, don’t even play me like that
ThrillhouseE: you can talk to the hand
x ExOtIc BaBi: psshh
ThrillhouseE: page me!
x ExOtIc BaBi: oo alright

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ThrillhouseE: Have you heard the news?
teq4us: what news
ThrillhouseE: you know that band, Nickelback?
teq4us: um… yea
ThrillhouseE: their lead singer was killed by wild dogs
teq4us: who is this
ThrillhouseE: this is brad
ThrillhouseE: i just got the message from tina
ThrillhouseE: she said you would be very sad
teq4us: Brad from Brandies
ThrillhouseE: yeah
ThrillhouseE: that Brad
teq4us: tina who…
ThrillhouseE: Tina VanSchlockenstein
teq4us: what do we do together?
teq4us: the thing that we love so much
ThrillhouseE: baby, you know what we do
teq4us: try again
ThrillhouseE: we get down
ThrillhouseE: we get funky up in this piece
teq4us: how true…
teq4us: I didn’t know if it was you or not
ThrillhouseE: oh yeah
ThrillhouseE: its me
teq4us: is gary still over there with you?
ThrillhouseE: yeah
ThrillhouseE: Gary’s still here
ThrillhouseE: he’s driving me nuts
teq4us: sweet, I was hoping the three of us could get together on Thursday and check out that new club
teq4us: he is cute… what are you guys up to?
ThrillhouseE: he wants to build this crazy contraption so he doesn’t have to get up to use the bathroom anymore
teq4us: nice….
ThrillhouseE: yeah, we should hang out thursday
teq4us: cool… call later
teq4us: need to run and finish up some stuff here
ThrillhouseE: that club has a shower room i heard
teq4us: the one on lansdown?
teq4us: sweet
ThrillhouseE: yeah
ThrillhouseE: Gary really likes you
teq4us: what? we barely know each other
ThrillhouseE: i know but he thinks you are babalicious
teq4us: that was pretty hot dancing with him last friday
teq4us: but I thought you were a bit jealous of that
ThrillhouseE: well
ThrillhouseE: a little
ThrillhouseE: but i don’t want it to come between us
teq4us: you know you are the one I want to go home with
ThrillhouseE: Whhhhaaaaaa?????
ThrillhouseE: Me?
teq4us: ummm… yeah
teq4us: what do you mean
ThrillhouseE: im just kidding
teq4us: k
teq4us: you had me worried
ThrillhouseE: hey
teq4us: what
ThrillhouseE: just a thought
teq4us: do tell
ThrillhouseE: don’t get all bent out of shape about this
ThrillhouseE: its just a thought
ThrillhouseE: what if you me . . .and gary?
ThrillhouseE: you know
teq4us: you really are opening up to new stuff
ThrillhouseE: why not?
teq4us: I had been suggesting it for awhile… but
teq4us: I thought you didn’t want to play that way
ThrillhouseE: i think i like the idea now
teq4us: sweet… lets see what happens Thurs night
ThrillhouseE: i’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of days
teq4us: not plan anything if you know what I mean, but lets see what happens
ThrillhouseE: yeah. . i ‘ll bring the sex jelly
teq4us: what?
ThrillhouseE:
teq4us: to funny
ThrillhouseE: ok, call me thursday
teq4us: you are so less shy over IM
ThrillhouseE: i know
teq4us: cool
teq4us: ttys
ThrillhouseE: peace

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Stankenstein501: Gargamel
gnome f0cker: hi
gnome f0cker: who beith ye?
Stankenstein501: I beath thy keeper of thy nunchucks
Stankenstein501: and thee?
gnome f0cker: Mine nunchucks have not been in the possession of another
gnome f0cker: and thee?
Stankenstein501: mine nunchucks shall reign fiercely upon thee
Stankenstein501: shall we battle?
gnome f0cker: I’ve an axe
Stankenstein501: And I a Golden Fleece
Stankenstein501: How many mana points do you have?
gnome f0cker: 140
gnome f0cker: you?
Stankenstein501: 654654
Stankenstein501: I cast Thodan’s nunchucks upon thee
gnome f0cker: Thodan… that’s big business there.
Stankenstein501: I’m NOT fucking around
Stankenstein501: Thodan is the ruler of the universeg
nome f0cker: lol
gnome f0cker: I thought the president of the universe was
Stankenstein501: Nope…Thodan
Stankenstein501: Where is there a chatroom?
gnome f0cker: Who are you? lol
Stankenstein501: I am Gothar. Knight of the Filmesh clan
Stankenstein501: A chatroom I seek
gnome f0cker: filmest clan?
Stankenstein501: Filmesh
Stankenstein501: A chatroom I say!
gnome f0cker: pardon?
gnome f0cker: I’m in a chatroom
gnome f0cker: but i’m not speakin
Stankenstein501: Where is there a chatroom?
Stankenstein501: where?
gnome f0cker: on websites
gnome f0cker: who are you!
Stankenstein501: your momma
gnome f0cker: :O
gnome f0cker: my mom is sleeping
Stankenstein501: im wide awake bitch

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ThrillhouseE: Can I ask you a serious question?
i ate a costard: uh huh
ThrillhouseE: why do you have a poopoo face?
i ate a costard: hmm
i ate a costard: dunno
ThrillhouseE: Could it be the guns?
i ate a costard: whatever you want
ThrillhouseE: I want it to be the guns
ThrillhouseE: I’m just kidding
ThrillhouseE: you don’t have a poopoo face
i ate a costard: hmm
i ate a costard: k
i ate a costard: ahah
i ate a costard: who is this
ThrillhouseE: this is rob
i ate a costard: rob who
ThrillhouseE: Rob C.
i ate a costard: ok..
ThrillhouseE: I was in the Spin Doctors for a while
ThrillhouseE: Now i have a new solo career
i ate a costard: hmm
ThrillhouseE: I have some great new tunes
i ate a costard: awesome
ThrillhouseE: would you like to hear them?
i ate a costard: not so much
ThrillhouseE: ok, great
i ate a costard signed off at 5:01:13 PM.
ThrillhouseE: I’ll just sing a couple of lines to myself then

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ThrillhouseE: are you a gun?
ThrillhouseE: hmmm?
ThrillhouseE: I bet you are
FunWithGoats 1 5 signed off at 5:00:32 PM.

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ThrillhouseE: Reveal the inner bear
Dagny7373: so, do you just pick random people from the area and im them and their friends or what
ThrillhouseE: sometimes
ThrillhouseE: im just trying to get you to reveal the inner bear
Dagny7373: uhm, my inner bear’s not that interesting so…
ThrillhouseE: im sure it is
ThrillhouseE: all bears are interesting
Dagny7373: nope, sorry, you should find some other random girl to show her “bear”
ThrillhouseE: like who?
Dagny7373: you seem to be able to find people easy enough
Dagny7373: do it yourself
ThrillhouseE: ok
ThrillhouseE: i’ll ask you
ThrillhouseE: reveal your inner bear
Dagny7373: i told you, my bear’s not that interesting, in fact, im actually asexual, i reproduce by splitting with myself
ThrillhouseE: you use mitosis
ThrillhouseE: what does that have to do with bears?
Dagny7373: i don’t have a bear
ThrillhouseE: there is a bear in all of us
Dagny7373: nope, not me, maybe i had one at one time, but he probably got too bored and left
ThrillhouseE: wow
ThrillhouseE: no bear
Dagny7373: well, how bout yours?
Dagny7373: take it out
ThrillhouseE: my bear?
ThrillhouseE: he’s pretty fierce
Dagny7373: so
ThrillhouseE: i have to coax him out with watermelon
ThrillhouseE: it’s all he eats
Dagny7373: that’s what she said
Dagny7373: is it black
ThrillhouseE: yeah
ThrillhouseE: canadian black bear
Dagny7373: thought so
Dagny7373: well, then he should like bacon too, maybe like beer stuffed with bacon served in a watermelon
ThrillhouseE: he would dig that
Dagny7373: i have to go make some soylent green, sorry i couldn’t see your bear
ThrillhouseE: you’ll see him next time
Dagny7373: yeah, i’m sure
Dagny7373: i thought he was pretty fierce
ThrillhouseE: well, you better be careful when i bring him out
ThrillhouseE: no sudden moves
Dagny7373: naw, he’ll just run away from my lameness
Dagny7373: he’ll be too bored
ThrillhouseE: he feeds on lameness and boredom
ThrillhouseE: and watermelon
Dagny7373: well then, i’ll have to find some other excuse not to see your bear
ThrillhouseE: just try to protect your skull
Dagny7373: why bother
ThrillhouseE: cuz the bear will eat it
Dagny7373: so, no one will miss me,
ThrillhouseE: awww
Dagny7373: at least i’ll have fed a bear
ThrillhouseE: what are you, 16?
ThrillhouseE: and already lost your zest for life
ThrillhouseE: what a shame
Dagny7373: i’m immortal, i was born without a zest for life
ThrillhouseE: a highlander?
Dagny7373: yep, how’d you know
ThrillhouseE: I saw the movie
Dagny7373: that was no movie, that was a cleverly hidden camera
Dagny7373: we had to kill the guy who taped us
ThrillhouseE: of course
ThrillhouseE: that sucks
Dagny7373: not for me, i got to cook him up and eat him
ThrillhouseE: he must have been a hell of a cameraman
Dagny7373: i still have some left
Dagny7373: he was real fat
ThrillhouseE: he must have been realllllly fat
ThrillhouseE: cuz that movie came out in the 80s
Dagny7373: no, not that fat, he had a big wang though
Dagny7373: it was like 2 of tommy lee
ThrillhouseE: daaaaaaaang
ThrillhouseE: now thats a hog
Dagny7373: yep
Dagny7373: i’ll have to compare it to your bear
ThrillhouseE: im sure my bear is bigger
ThrillhouseE: he weighs like 800 pounds
Dagny7373: wow, how does he fit in a cave
ThrillhouseE: its a big cave
Dagny7373: hm, i’ve never seen a cave that big
Dagny7373 is away at 10:03:57 AM.

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ThrillhouseE: Oh my god
ThrillhouseE: there is blood on my dad’s face
ThrillhouseE: oh nevermind
ThrillhouseE: its just a dogs blood
ThrillhouseE: wait!
CuteG162 signed off at 3:42:18 PM

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Stankenstein501: Howdy cowboy
XNijiX: Hi~!
Stankenstein501: Whats the word of the day?
XNijiX: It’s my birthday! *dances*
Stankenstein501: Well, I’ll be a rattlesnakes uncle!!
Stankenstein501: Happy birthday!
Stankenstein501: I got you a lasso
Stankenstein501: and a blade
Stankenstein501: for cuttin stuff
XNijiX: Thanks a lot…
XNijiX: Do you have a receipt for that?
Stankenstein501: Why?
XNijiX: To return it
XNijiX:
Stankenstein501: Do you want to take it back?
Stankenstein501: It’s a good blade
Stankenstein501: You could really put it to good use.
XNijiX: I’m afraid I’d just accidently cut myself
Stankenstein501: Nahh
Stankenstein501: you’d be fine
Stankenstein501: I use mine to cut fools
XNijiX: Good thing I’m no fool
Stankenstein501: but you could use it to cut other stuff too
Stankenstein501: like cheese
Stankenstein501: or bacon
XNijiX: I like cheese
XNijiX: I don’t like bacon
Stankenstein501: Do you like fools?
XNijiX: They provide a sense of balance in the world
XNijiX: Plus they make me feel smarter
Stankenstein501: Well, I don’t like fools
Stankenstein501: so I cut them
Stankenstein501: so you could cut cheese or bacon because you don’t like them
XNijiX: Hahahah ok
Stankenstein501: but I guess I could take the blade back
Stankenstein501: what would you rather have?
Stankenstein501: snakeskin boots?
XNijiX: I’d rather have a plane ticket to San Fran
Stankenstein501: hmmmmm
Stankenstein501: thats a pretty tall order
XNijiX: Yeah well, I’m an expensive person
Stankenstein501: this cowpoke doesn’t have a lot of cow money
XNijiX: lol
XNijiX: Maybe I could ride a cow to San Fran
Stankenstein501: you could
Stankenstein501: but it would takeforever
Stankenstein501: those little bastards are stubborn
Stankenstein501: and they are dumb
Stankenstein501: sometimes i cut cows with my blade too
XNijiX: Poor cows!
Stankenstein501: I don’t cut them a lot or anything
Stankenstein501: just a little
XNijiX: So uh
XNijiX: How’d you get my screenname?
Stankenstein501: The FBI gave it to me
XNijiX: Tell them that I typed this emoticon: ;_;
Stankenstein501: ok
Stankenstein501: They said “cool”
XNijiX: Ok, seriously, how’d you get it?
Stankenstein501: liovejournal
Stankenstein501: live
XNijiX: Oh… What’s your lj?
Stankenstein501: i don’t have one
XNijiX: Ok
XNijiX: Why’d you IM me?
Stankenstein501: because I need somebody to help me with my plan
XNijiX: Ok….
Stankenstein501: it pays out a cool ten mil
Stankenstein501: and there are tigers involved
XNijiX: I like tigers
Stankenstein501: great
Stankenstein501: so you’re in?
XNijiX: What’s the rest of the plan?
Stankenstein501: We go to China
Stankenstein501: in the mountains
Stankenstein501: and live with the tigers
XNijiX: Gotcha
Stankenstein501: for 7 years
Stankenstein501: after 7 years
Stankenstein501: we are ready
XNijiX: For what?
Stankenstein501: we rob a bank
Stankenstein501: for a cool 20 mil
XNijiX: I thought you said 10?
Stankenstein501: a cool 10 for you
Stankenstein501: and a cool 10 for me
XNijiX: Ok
XNijiX: Cool, not hot
Stankenstein501: no, that’s what’s different about this job
Stankenstein501: is a cool 10 mil
Stankenstein501: it’s easy
XNijiX: Ok, I’m in
Stankenstein501: awesome
Stankenstein501: you won’t regret it
Stankenstein501: I’ll give you one week to say goodbye to your friends and family
XNijiX: Alrighty
Stankenstein501: Thanks dude
Stankenstein501: I really appreciate it
Stankenstein501: happy birthday
XNijiX: Thanks

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Stankenstein501: Hate those bikers
Stankenstein501: They smell like pigs
Stankenstein501: You know. You kinda smell like a pig too.
Stankenstein501: A stinky pig
Opicke bickeO signed off at 11:45:35 AM.

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Stankenstein501: Hey
Stankenstein501: Hey Chinese kid
Stankenstein501: Hey!
butterfly33182: do i know you?
Stankenstein501: Yes
Stankenstein501: I just want you to stop being Chinese
butterfly33182: i’m not chinese…
butterfly33182: i was on the phone
butterfly33182: and not sure i should accept a message from somebody i don’t know…
Stankenstein501: why
Stankenstein501: are you scared
Stankenstein501: chicken
butterfly33182: because i have had problems with internet stalkers
Stankenstein501: ewwww
butterfly33182: umhhhmmm
Stankenstein501: Are you sure they were really stalkers?
Stankenstein501: Maybe you’re just flattering yourself
butterfly33182: uh, yeah, i’m sure
Stankenstein501: well, how come you’re so great?
butterfly33182: i never said i was great, just that apparently, people like to stalk me on the internet
Stankenstein501: why don’t I get stalkers?
butterfly33182: i don’t know
butterfly33182: maybe if you tell me who you are, i can tell you why
Stankenstein501: ok, I’m ted
butterfly33182: ted
butterfly33182: ted who?
Stankenstein501: Ted Jones
butterfly33182: do i know a ted?
Stankenstein501: I don’t know
butterfly33182: i thought you said i knew you
Stankenstein501: I probably lied
butterfly33182: nice
butterfly33182: see, this is why i say i have internet stalkers
butterfly33182: where did you get my screen name, ted jones?
Stankenstein501: I can’t be expected to remember these things
Stankenstein501: but I’m not stalking you
butterfly33182: ok
butterfly33182: we’ll see
Stankenstein501: you have a pretty broad definition of stalking
butterfly33182: i didn’t say you were
butterfly33182: yet
butterfly33182:
Stankenstein501: ahhhh. I see
Stankenstein501: so if a snowman freezes himself, will he die?
butterfly33182: nah
Stankenstein501: no?
butterfly33182: nope
Stankenstein501: Is he in a state of suspended animation?
butterfly33182: he’s already frozen…
Stankenstein501: I guess you are right
Stankenstein501: does that mean that snowmen are evil?
Stankenstein501: because they have icy hearts
butterfly33182: no
butterfly33182: they’r ejust made to be cold
Stankenstein501: so they feel no love
butterfly33182: well, they don’t have hearts
butterfly33182: so i suppose not
Stankenstein501: poor snowmen
Stankenstein501: that’s ok
Stankenstein501: I hate them anyway
Stankenstein501: my father was killed by a snowman
butterfly33182: nice
Stankenstein501: not nice
Stankenstein501: it was terrible
Stankenstein501: the blood was everywhere
butterfly33182: i’m sure it was
butterfly33182: frozen, of course
Stankenstein501: eventually, yes. The blood froze
Stankenstein501: but daddy was gone
Stankenstein501: all I have of him is is harmonica
Stankenstein501: and his monster truck hat
Stankenstein501: and his keys
Stankenstein501: I’m going to cry now
butterfly33182: ok
Stankenstein501: goodbye
butterfly33182: bye

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