Bloodquest III: The Quest For Blood
Monday, June 25, 2007
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Current mood: My friend, Adam wants to read a blog about a quest. I thought this was a strange REQUEST!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Oh my God, that was so funny I don’t know if I can actually write the blog now!!!! Hahahahahahahahaahahahaha! REquest!!! Hhahahahahahahaha! Ok, sorry. Here goes. John Newburger was dredging through the snow. The bitter cold pinched and poked at his extremities. He was in great pain. John had been walking for eight years. He had to walk. There was no other choice. John Newburger was on a quest. A quest for blood. He didn’t really like blood per se, or fighting werewolves and skeletons, but he needed the blood to save the woman he loved. The blood I speak of is the blood of the robosaur, robot shaped like dinosaur with great power…in its blood. 1,000,000 years ago, the last dinosaur, Chad Michaels, decided he needed to go into hiding to escape extinction. So, he built a robot suit and hids in it for 1,000,000 years. He lived at the top of Mount Shakaboombaka, where he had 8 wives and a dude that cooked all his meals for him. Chad Michaels the Robosaur was expecting John Newburger. John Newburger thought he could go on no longer. He laid down to rest on the mountain. He knew he had to get back up soon otherwise he would not get back up again. Suddenly, a skelelton jumped out from behind a tree. “Give me the walnuts of power,” said the skeleton. “Not on your life you son of a bitch,” Newburger replied. The skeleton lunged at Newburger but he was too slow. John already had the walnuts of power in his hands. He quickly said the magic words, “David Hasselhoff” and turned the skeleton into bear. Then he shot the bear with his gun. “Too easy,” Newburger said. He continued his quest up the mountain. When John finally reached the top, Chad Michaels was waiting for him. Both had been waiting for this moment for a long time. “I know you come for my blood young warrior,” said Chad Michaels, the Robosaur. “To save the life of the beautiful Princess Sylvia.” “She is to be my wife,” John replied. “The Gods say it is to be.” Chad Michaels the robot dinosaur was not pleased. “Have a taste of my steel!” said Chad Michaels the robot dinosaur and he swung his sword at John. John quickly rolled on the ground to evade the attack then he did a back flip just to show off. The display of unnecessary gymnastics infuriated Chad Michaels the robot dinosaur and he shed his cheaply made tin foil robot costume to revael his true form…some sort of dinosaur. Chad Michaels started breathing fire all over the fucking place. John Newburger hid behind a rock. He thought it was over. He thought he would never see princess Sylvia again. Suddenly he remembered he had one magic walnut left. “Magic walnut don’t fail me now,” John said to himself. He kissed the walnut and sent it flying hitting Chad Michaels the robot dinosaur right in the balls. This was the robot dinosaur’s one week spot, his balls. John Newburger got his cup and teleported back to the castle where princess Sylvia was. Then he teleported back becasue he forgot the blood. He then got the blood. Then he teleported back to the castle again and made Princess Sylvia drink the blood. She woke up and they got married. They had 11 kids all named Jerome. THE END
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