“The Killer”
This scene is based on a guy a met one time. This guys friend (a smelly old drunk hippy who had just gotten out of jail) kept insisting that this guy that we only knew as “Killer” would kill my friend Todd for a dollar. Lucky for Todd, I didn’t have any dollars on me that day.
“The Killer”
03/02/06
M. Kelley
CAST
TODD, 20’s
DON, 20’s
THE KILLER, ??
(SEAN sits in the living room, DON and THE KILLER ENTER)
DON
Street Fighter II.
TODD
You know it.
DON
You know you can’t waste your life playing video games all the time.
TODD
No?
DON
The whole world is a great big banana ripe for peeling. You gotta reach out there and grab it.
TODD
What the hell are you talking about? I don’t see you “grabbing the banana.”
DON
And it’s all been time wasted. Todd, listen to me. I met somebody today who changed my life, I think.
TODD
You think?
(DON turns off Street Fighter II)
DON
Yeah, I’m pretty sure. Todd, this is my friend The Killer.
(We get a better view of THE KILLER. He looks sort of like you would expect; half-retarded, scarred, swastika on his forehead. THE KILLER sits there and twitches)
TODD
Oh, ok. Nice to meet you Mr. . . .Killer.
THE KILLER
Who’s got a smoke?
TODD
Huh?
THE KILLER
Who’s got a smoke?
TODD
What does that mean?
DON
Better give him a cigarette.
THE KILLER
Smoke.
TODD
What’s going to happen if I don’t?
DON
Do really want to find out? I’d give him one if I were you.
(TODD gives a smoke to THE KILLER. THE KILLER lights it and greedily sucks it down.)
TODD
Well, that’s just great. You found somebody else to bum smokes off of me. Where the hell did this guy come from?
DON
Maybe jail, but probably prison. I don’t really know. I found him at the bus station. All he says is, “Who’s got a smoke” and “I’ll kill him for a dollar.”
THE KILLER
I’ll kill him for a dollar.
DON
See?
(TODD takes dollar off of the table)
TODD
I don’t see how this helps us.
DON
It’s inspiration.
TODD
That is inspiration?
DON
Well, yeah. I mean this guy knows what he wants.
THE KILLER
Who’s got a smoke?
DON
See. He knows what he wants.
TODD
Knows what he wants? Don, this is just some derelict you found at the bus station.
DON
This is not just some derelict. This is the Killer here.
TODD
How do you even know that’s his name if all he ever says is “I’ll kill him for a dollar” and. . .
THE KILLER
Who’s got a smoke?
TODD
Yeah.
DON
It’s carved in to his back.
(DON lifts up THE KILLER’S shirt to reveal his nametag scar)
THE KILLER
Who’s got a smoke?
DON
Better give him another smoke.
TODD
No.
THE KILLER (scarier)
Who’s got a smoke?
TODD
Ok.
(TODD gives THE KILLER another smoke)
TODD
Look, Don. I want this guy out of here.
DON
This is what we’ve been waiting for. This is our ticket out of this dump. He’s a motivational tool.
TODD
He’s not a tool. He’s a potentially escaped prisoner.
DON
Well than think of him as a deterrent. You know, to keep you in line.
TODD
Get rid of him.
DON
(sigh) Ok.
(DON takes one of Todd’s smokes and shows it to the killer. He throws it out the door. THE KILLER follows)
DON
Mario Cart?